» Families Facing Cancer – Helping carers to cope with cancer

Cancer Caregivers Must Make Difficult Decisions

Anne Orchard — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 10:16:05 +0000

During the course of your loved one’s fight with cancer you may be required to help them decide on a course of treatment. There may be times when you alone must decide what action should be taken. This can be a complex, burdensome responsibility that I have addressed in my book Their Cancer – Your Journey:
There may be times during your loved one’s treatment when you are asked to make some difficult decisions. Should they even be told they have cancer – particularly if they are either very young or elderly and confused? Should the cancer host be resuscitated if they have a heart attack? Nobody wants to be put in the position of making this sort of decision, but it is possible that this may fall to you. How do you handle it? Ideally you won’t have to do it on your own. If you can discuss the matter with others who are affected, it should be easier to make the decision, unless there is a real difference of opinion.
First of all it’s important to look at what is the ‘default position’. What is being done while the decision is being made? In the examples I gave above, the default would probably be not to tell them in the first, and to resuscitate them in the second.
My view is that wherever possible the person with cancer should be the one to make the decision, though there is nothing wrong with a supportive family discussion. This means that even if the medical team is worried about telling your loved one something about their condition, you at least talk over the subject with the person who it ill. If they really don’t want to know, they will probably change the subject or just plain not hear you – and then they will have made that decision. But if your loved one wants to know, then they have a right to.
Many people have been told they were dying, and used this as an opportunity to find a sense of peace – possibly one that has escaped them all their life. Why deny them that? You won’t go far wrong if you stick to the principle you’ve been using already of talking things through and accepting that the cancer host is the master of their own ship.
Audrey Jenkinson, in her book Past Caring, describes how her mother expressed quite definitely that she did not want to be kept alive, or resuscitated. She was perfectly able to make that decision even though communicating it was difficult. It proved hard to honour that request, as medical staff will always try to revive someone unless they know expressly not to.
In reality this means that when someone is admitted to hospital as an emergency, there will be no time to take ethical decisions. One person at death’s door looks much like another and the emergency team will not have the information they need unless they are given it. So if your loved one has expressed their wish to go out gracefully, you will need to make sure everyone knows. It may mean you have to be with them on your own when they die, if you are caring for them at home.
If your loved one has gone past the point of being able to make their own decisions, and it is just a matter of time, don’t be afraid to talk over what treatment they are being given with their medical team. Keeping their body in this world as long as possible is the remit we have given to our health services, but it may no longer be the approach that serves this person best. Of course, in order to take these or other difficult decisions, you have to be prepared to let your loved one go.
Extracted from Their Cancer – Your Journey ©2008 Anne Orchard
Many factors affect the cancer patient’s ability to make decisions regarding their own treatment. Mood, age, personality, and progress of the disease are but a few. It is important that you know as much as possible about their current prognosis and the available treatment options to enable you to give sound advice or to make critical decisions when necessary.

Bringing Someone Ill with Cancer to Your Home

Anne Orchard — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 10:01:44 +0000

Bringing a loved one with cancer into your home can be daunting – physically and mentally exhausting, but it can also be a great gift to both of you.
Those with cancer are hospitalised only during the acute phases of their disease when professional treatment management or intensive medical intervention is required. When such care becomes unnecessary or is no longer effective, the person with cancer is released to home or hospice care, returning to the hospital only for outpatient care and treatment. If your loved one is released from the hospital without requiring continuous medical care, and you have the time and resources, you may decide to care for him or her in your home.
The demands that will be placed upon you depend upon whether the person with cancer is a member of your close family who normally lives with you or a friend or member of your extended family who will come to live with you for the first time. The demands placed upon you will be further impacted by whether they are released into your care to recuperate while in remission, or to die.
If the person is a spouse, child, friend, or family member who is in remission and in improving health, your role may be little more than supervisory; supporting them in eating well, being comfortable, and taking all their prescribed medications. You may find yourself being more of a companion and chauffer. In all cases, however, you will find that you must make adjustments in your routine about your home.
If it is your spouse or child, his or her return is natural and unobtrusive, and your routine may be quite normal with the exception of occasional trips to the hospital outpatient for checkups or maintenance treatments. If you spouse or child has difficulty sleeping, it may be necessary, as with a friend or extended family member, to arrange separate, but comfortably homey, sleeping arrangements in another room.
It the person with cancer has been diagnosed as terminal and requires more constant care, it may be necessary to make major adjustments in the arrangement of your home and in your routine. The care of a very ill person can be extremely demanding. You are both going to pass through a difficult period of adjustment as you get used to a new sometimes awkward routine. It may be necessary to reconfigure a bedroom or other large room for convalescent care. You may have to rent a hospital bed, a portable toilet, and other equipment.
When it is necessary to rearrange your home, it is equally important that you find or create a personal haven somewhere in your home where you can get away from your care giving responsibilities, where you can relax, meditate, practice a hobby, quietly read, or even cry to relieve your accumulated stress.
Set up rules, early on, for visitors to you and your loved one. During this time people will come to you home for one of two reasons: to help or to visit. Be firm. Let it be known that you appreciate any help that you can get. Place limits on visits to the person with cancer – in consultation with them if possible. Set up visiting hours, or insist upon a call before a visit to ensure that you and your loved one are up to it.
Where possible, draft relatives and friends to help you care for your loved one, and to relieve you temporarily so you can attend to your own household tasks, and find time for yourself alone. Check with area hospices, where it is often possible to bring a loved one for a day or a week when necessary, to provide you with a quiet vacation or some mental health time.
Remember, being able to stay with a friend or family member is a great gift for someone with cancer, especially if it is to spend his or her final days, and you are showing great love and kindness to provide that comfort. But, don’t forget about your own health and needs. Your normal routine may be on hold during this time, but your life isn’t. Structure your time to provide for your needs. Seek out to a support network to help you survive this trying time both physically and mentally intact, and to help you to prepare for the changes in your life when your loved one is no longer with you.
Death in the old movies usually occurred in the family home where the person dying is surrounded by loving family and friends. I think that many of us would like to spend our final days in the comfort of familiar voices and surroundings. Being cared for at the home of a loved one is a great gift to both the patient and the caregiver.

Using Technology to Update Friends and Family about your Cancer Journey

Anne Orchard — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 18:20:50 +0000

Even Members of “The Lead Pencil Club” Can Use A Blog—It Will Save You Time and Energy

I have a friend who does not like computers, and she describes herself as a member of “The Lead Pencil Club”. Does that sound like you? Either way, using a blog to update people when a family member has cancer can save you a huge amount of time and hassle.
Once your friends and family learn that there has been a diagnosis of cancer, there will be an insatiable appetite for information, particularly amongst those who know the person who’s been diagnosed. If you live with the person who has cancer, you may find yourself endlessly answering the telephone and relating the same details to one relative after another. If you live at a distance, you may be one of the people phoning – and possibly feeling guilty about doing so. It’s important to handle this communication issue, as it can drive the sanest person to distraction.
The most important factor is to set down some boundaries about the best ways to communicate. Is email easier, because you can choose when to reply? Do you, or the person with cancer, like to chat on the phone – but only at certain times? Would you prefer to update one person, and have them pass the information around the family for you?
If you are the one desperately wanting an update, but find it hard to get information, ask the closer family what would work best for them. One way that a family can come together for mutual support at a time like this is to build a private blog or website. A blog is similar to a website, but it is free and takes just minutes to create. This way, people with fresh information can update it so that everyone can read it. If you have a question, you can ask it there, and get an answer from anyone who knows what you are seeking. You can share positive stories, family news, happy memories, and even photos. If you have a family member in their teens or twenties, they can create the blog, and they will feel good about being involved. If not, you can set up a Wordpress blog yourself, or use the system provided at www.caringbridge.org.
To get a Wordpress blog, simply Google Wordpress.com and click on “sign up now”. You will need to select a user name, password, and a name for the blog. It could be something like: TheMcClausen’sCancerJourney. Once you’ve done that, click on “give me a blog”. From there you will find themes such as autumn leaves or a winter wonderland, with clearly marked tabs to insert “posts”, which simply means that you write something that everyone can see. Visitors to your blog don’t need a password to add to or comment on your post. You can cut and paste photos directly into the text area. No html coding knowledge is needed. Those who have the blog name can access it directly. It won’t show up in advertising or other searches unless you want it to. Once you have the blog, you can use it just for updates or to share your story with a wider audience. If you want to do this, you might like to look at some of the blogs listed on Being Cancer for inspiration.
You may find that having a blog is so helpful that you want one for other things you are doing, such as a home based business or a hobby group. The objective is to save time, keep people informed, and get some time to yourself to rest and enjoy a few simple pleasures during this challenging journey.

Their Cancer Treatment Decision – How Can I Help?

Anne Orchard — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:05:48 +0000

When someone is diagnosed with cancer, sometimes they have to make difficult decisions about which treatments to have, or whether to refuse certain treatments altogether. As a friend or family member, you might not expect this. Sometimes we have an illusion that the all-knowing doctor in their white coat will pronounce from on high the correct course of action, that will be carried out and all will be well. But the world of cancer is not precise and sometimes there are choices to be made. Lumpectomy or full mastectomy? Accept chemotherapy or refuse it? And so on. So how do you negotiate the minefield of talking about those treatment decisions with a friend or family member who is making them?

Relax. It may feel like a huge responsibility talking over these kinds of choices with someone who is facing cancer treatment. But the responsibility for the ultimate decision is theirs, so try to relax about your role. You may only need to act as a sounding board so they can explore the options and be more comfortable with their decision.
Acknowledge your fears. It will be hard for you to offer an impartial discussion if your thoughts are full of your own fears. You may be terrified that choosing the ‘wrong’ treatment will condemn them to an untimely death, and this could cause you to exert pressure. So talk about your fears – it may be appropriate to do this with someone who is less involved.
Ask what else they need to know. The person making the decision may have all the information they need – or there may be some things that are unclear. Do they need a second opinion about the diagnosis or possible treatments? Would some statistics on differing effects of the treatment options on their particular type and severity of cancer make the decision easier to make? Do they need to know what they can do to increase the beneficial results of any treatment? Or do they simply want to know that the treatment recommended by the doctor is what’s best for them?
Consider the Pros and Cons. Remember that any treatment option, including complementary and alternative medicine, has both advantages and disadvantages. The decision could be made from a desire to avoid some possibilities (for example losing their hair) or from a wish to achieve certain ends (eg maintain their body image). Only the person with cancer can know what holds more weight for them.
Trust their judgement. You might be tempted to think that you know what is good for someone who has cancer. ’Of course they should have chemotherapy’, or ‘of course natural methods would be best for them’. But you don’t know their body – they do. If they have a strong instinct about any particular treatment plan, they are probably right.
Remember the benefits of ‘excited belief’. According to Greg Anderson in his book ‘Cancer : 50 Essential Things To Do’, “cancer survivors develop a confidence and an excited belief in their treatment programs that other patients do not possess.” Persuading someone to undertake a treatment they feel reluctant about will not generate that excited belief – it has to come from inside the person making the decision.
Back them up. Whatever treatment decisions the person makes in the end, and whether you agree or not, get excited with them. Be one hundred percent positive that whatever the outcome, they have made the best possible decision for them in this set of circumstances.

Having someone to talk over these difficult issues with can be of benefit to someone about to choose and undergo treatment for cancer. Simply by being available and open you will be a great help.

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Giving and Receiving Help: A Lesson for Caregivers and Friends

Anne Orchard — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:00:43 +0000

In addition to the emotional stress it can bring, a diagnosis of cancer brings a variety of new tasks for the patient and closest caregivers. There are doctor appointments and chemotherapy treatments – sometimes daily. And, the patient is likely to need help with other things that they once managed on their own, such as housekeeping and meal preparation. It’s very easy for the person with cancer and their closest family members to become overwhelmed with the duties ahead.

There are dozens of ways that other family members and friends can help out. However, all too often, the needs of the patient and closest caregivers don’t quite connect with the assistance that others are willing and able to provide. Hopefully, the following pointers will help those who need the help and those who have assistance to offer.

Patients and Caregivers

There are many reasons why we fail to ask for help when we need it. Perhaps we’re just so used to doing things ourselves that we don’t think to ask, or perhaps we crave privacy as we sort through our emotions and don’t want lots of people around us. But, for most people, the reason we don’t ask for help is that we simply “don’t want to put people out”. But, now is the time to accept the assistance that others are willing to give. If you’re worried that you’re asking too much, just ask yourself if you would be willing to offer the same assistance if the situation were reversed. If the answer is yes, you’re not asking too much.

The patient and closest family members should sit down and make a list of items that others could help with. This helps you to be ready when someone asks to help and also helps you to determine any items that the person with cancer deems too private – so you can designate those items only to the closest family members. For example, your cancer patient may be quite happy to have others sit with them so that family members can get a break – but they may not be comfortable accepting assistance from others at meal times if they require help with the basics of eating. Some tasks that others can easily help with include:

Laundry
Meal preparation
Trips to the pharmacy
Dog walking
Running other errands
Garden maintenance
Housecleaning

If you’re a primary caregiver for someone with cancer, be ready to say “yes” when others offer to help. If their offers are not specific, you can keep in mind their talents and time availability when making requests. Is a church member a seamstress? Have her mend clothes and take in those that have become too big.

Remember that people want to help. And, often, they just don’t know what you need. It can be difficult for many of us to accept help, but you might be amazed at how good it makes you feel when you allow people to sincerely reach out.

Linda felt so guilty about letting a girlfriend bring over dinner when she was recovering from childbirth. But, her husband had just returned to work and she was taking care of a newborn and a toddler and not feeling very well. So, with reluctance, she accepted her friend’s offer. Her friend brought over a dish that Linda had eaten just once in her life – a few years before in her friend’s home. Linda was so touched that her friend had remembered how much she loved her shepherd’s pie that her embarrassment for needing help quickly turned to great affection for their many years of friendship. You may find that letting people help you turns your constant thoughts of cancer and the future it might hold to more positive thoughts.

Those Providing Assistance

It’s natural to want to offer assistance when our loved ones are going through tough times. All too often, however, when we ask “Do you need anything?” we fail to receive any specific requests for help. Don’t let this stop you! There are many ways to get involved even if you don’t receive any direction from the person with cancer or their immediate caregivers. Here are some ideas:

Think about the things that we all have to take care of every day. Offer to pick up groceries for the family at the same time you get your own. The family may be more likely to take you up on your offer if they know you’re headed to the store anyway. When you’re paying the patient a visit and you see something that needs to be done – ask if you can do it.

Consider the patient’s personality. Is the cancer patient an avid reader? Then head to your local used book store and stock up. They won’t care that the books aren’t new; they’ll be thrilled with a variety of books and magazines to kill time during treatments and rest periods.

Use your talents. A friend of mine once spent an entire weekend preparing her sister’s favorite meals for her freezer. Her sister was going through chemotherapy and having trouble managing meal preparation. Over the course of a weekend, she put 20 meals in her freezer – all things her sister really loved. Even though her sister’s appetite had been off, she quickly became more eager to eat once she knew her favorites were waiting for her.

Be persistent when you want to help. You may find that it takes your friend or relative a little time to get used to the idea of accepting help. But, soon, you may be able to make a world of difference!

Cancer Issues – Dealing with the Rest of the World

Anne Orchard — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:55:09 +0000

A cancer diagnosis can bring on many practical duties that have to be performed. One of the biggest and most tiring duties can be keeping other people informed about what’s going on. You may feel as though your phone never stops ringing and that you’re telling the same story over and over. In order to ensure that fatigue and irritation don’t take over, it’s important for the family members closest to the person who has cancer develop a game plan for communicating with other people. When everyone in the family knows how communications will be handled and who is responsible for which duties, communications become more streamlined, and, therefore, easier for everyone. In her book, Their Cancer: Your Journey, Anne Orchard discusses various strategies for handling communications with concerned friends and family members.

Once people around you know there has been a diagnosis of cancer, there will be an insatiable appetite for information, particularly amongst those who know the family well. If you live with the person who has cancer, you may find yourself endlessly answering the telephone and relating the same details to one relative after another. If you live at a distance, you may be one of the people phoning – and possibly feeling guilty about doing so. It’s important to handle this communication issue, as it can drive the sanest person to distraction.

The most important factor is to set down some boundaries about the best ways to communicate. Is email easier, because you can choose when to reply? Do you, or the person who has cancer, like to chat on the phone – but only at certain times? Would you prefer to update one person, and have them pass the information around the family for you?

If you are the one desperately wanting an update, but find it hard to get information, ask the person with cancer or others in the family what would work best for them.

One way that a family can come together for mutual support at a time like this is to build a private website. This way people with fresh information can update it so that everyone can read it. If you have a question, you can ask it there, and get an answer from anyone who knows what you are seeking. You can share positive stories, family news, happy memories, and even photos. If you have a family member in their teens or twenties, they will probably know how to create this much better than I do – and feel good about being involved. If not, you can learn to set up a website through Wordpress, or use the system provided at www.caringbridge.org.

Developing a family strategy for dealing with communications can help relieve stress on all the family members who are receiving endless calls and requests for information. Taking the time to determine the best way for your family to communicate to others is certainly valuable in the process of relieving stress for everyone during this time. It’s important that people be informed, but it’s just as important that the person with cancer and immediate family have privacy and quiet time when you need it.

Managing the Stress Associated with Cancer

Anne Orchard — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:09:53 +0000

You May Choose to Alter, Avoid or Accept Stress to Improve Health & Happiness.

Stress is a likely occurrence for families facing cancer. It is helpful to know some practical ways to alleviate stress, or avoid it all together. Some of the most basic methods are; alter the source of stress, avoid the stress, or accept it by building up your resistance.

To Alter Stress: Change the thing that is causing stress. If it is a time crunch, rearrange your schedule; drop some task or errand that isn’t crucial. If it is a specific incident or pending event, write it down on a sheet of paper. Be sure that you just write down one thing at a time, and then list some ways you could handle it: Be creative and think of many ways, even the silly or absurd. Then pick one thing from your list, and do it. Taking action will alter and lessen stress—feeling as if your hands are tied will increase stress. For example, you feel a lot of stress after the doctor informs you that an additional treatment is required:

Research the treatment; read up on it, and if you have more questions, call and ask the doctor.
Talk to your professional coach or counselor about how you feel and what you need to do next.
Vow to avoid jumping to conclusions. Instead, wait and see how the treatment turns out.
Sing a song or recite a poem to your dog or cat (or yourself) about how you are feeling. Read aloud from a favorite book that you find comforting.

To Avoid Stress: Walk away or leave the setting you find stressful, or avoid it from the start. You may go on a short drive or a trip for a day or more, ask people not to call you, go to a movie, etc. Knowing your limits helps—if something is past your limit, say no. Think of what your limits are for time, energy, money, the ability to remain happy or cheer people up. If you have used all of these resources for the day, week or month, draw the line. You can replenish your vitality by taking a reprieve from having to give to others continually. You can delegate; someone else will make the appointment, pick up the food, and so on.

To Accept Stress by Building Resistance to it: Prepare for any crisis that may occur, by conditioning yourself to accept stress if or when it occurs. Prepare yourself physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.

Physically – by eating healthy foods, exercising, proper sleep, & simple relaxation. Just as your body needs exercise, it also needs relaxation.
Mentally – by clarifying priorities and goals. Make plans monthly, weekly, daily. Implement plans by writing small tasks in your calendar that reflect your plan. Live by that calendar: If tonight is your dine out club, take your cell phone or give the number where you will be, and go have fun. If you planned to enroll this semester at school, keep your plan. Your calendar is your foundation for mental health. Since you have a life, as reflected in your calendar, disappointing or stressful events will affect you, but not nearly as much as if you had no life of your own. The calendar points your way to the future that you have chosen.
Socially – by asking for support from extended family, friends, your community and social groups to which you belong.
Spiritually – by prayer, fellowship, meditation.

Remember, stress is not reality. Stress is how your mind reacts to the reality around it. For instance, when you receive a message from the doctor asking you to call, your automatic response may be stress, but you can pause—choose to remain neutral, and check back with the doctor. If the news is disappointing, you can once again become stressed or listen to your Higher Power—realize that stress will make it worse for all concerned. The news is beyond your control—but how you react to the news is absolutely within your control.

Handling “The Holidays” When Someone You Love Has Cancer

Anne Orchard — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 10:36:49 +0000

This year, consider letting go of perfection. You’ll have more time to share love & laughter.

Hurrying about to buy the perfect gifts, decorating your home like a page in Better Homes & Gardens, baking elaborate desserts, and cooking gourmet meals…do you need to do all of this when you are faced with the reality of your loved one’s cancer?

Think of some of the simple moments you’ve enjoyed during the holidays….seeing a child smile with glee when they meet Santa at the mall, hearing a carol that touches your heart, viewing the decorations in your neighborhood. These things require no preparation; they only require that you stop to enjoy the feelings, memories and meaning of this special time. Particularly, these moments that touch us are expressions of love, of our shared humanity. On the holiday, when all the shopping is done and most of the businesses and everyday activities come to a halt, listen to the quiet…..notice the lack of commotion in your neighborhood or city Just imagine all the millions of people who have the day off, who are sharing love, laughter, and a hard earned respite from the demands of daily life. This may be the most important thing of all on the holidays.

To relax and appreciate the inner magic of the holidays, use the following questions as a guide. You can par down the demands of the holidays to the bare minimum. In doing so, you may find this season to be the most enjoyable you have had in years.

1) Write down your answers to the following questions, with an opened mind, knowing that no one is suggesting you neglect anything that is deeply meaningful or pleasurable to you during the holidays:

What is your favorite holiday memory?
What are your least and most favorite traditions?
Could you drop your least favorite traditions, or replace them with something else?
If so, what new traditions would replace them?
If children are involved, ask them what elements of the holiday are the most important to them.
Ask other family members what holiday customs are their favorites.
If you could do anything, within reason, what would you do on the holiday

2) Circle the items from your answers above that are the most special to you and your family, which you definitely want to do. Give those items a second look—does anything seem less important when you reconsider it? If so, you may choose to omit it. Of the remaining items, which things on the list are within your limits of time and energy (realistically), and which could you delegate or alter so that they would require less time and effort? For example, if you always make table decorations, could you buy them instead?

Now you can look at the holidays with certain activities in mind, and schedule them to fit with the needs of the person who has cancer and everyone else. As you go about these activities, do them with a sense of “there-ness”. If you are making cookies, enjoy the process rather than rushing to get to the next item on your “to do list”. Ask children, relatives and others to help, explaining that everyone needs to pitch in to make the holiday the best ever—tell them you are not a miracle worker.

The holidays can increase a sense of loss or sadness for you and the person who has cancer. However, when you celebrate in the present, it can work just the opposite. Because cancer tends to magnify the preciousness of life, the whole family can appreciate the camaraderie and love you share in the here and now.

Avoiding the Negative Financial Impact of Cancer

Anne Orchard — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 10:50:13 +0000

A diagnosis of cancer will most definitely have significant impact on the affected family’s finances. Thoughtful evaluation of the family’s financial resources will be necessary. Difficult, sometimes painful, adjustments may be required. I discuss this in my book Their Cancer – Your Journey, and share the following with you:

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, most people worked in secure jobs for many years. They had full sickness cover, and their wages would continue to be paid if they became ill. For many that situation no longer exists. When my mother became ill, her employment contract had just been renewed for a year. Her pay would have lasted only as long as that contract.

Sick pay generally goes down over time, rather than staying at the same level as previous earnings. Your loved one may also lose any part of their pay that was based on commission, performance or overtime. If the cancer host contributed a major part of their household income, and this is affected, problems could arise.

The most important thing, of course, is to face up to facts as soon as they become clear. Plan ahead of time what you (or they, if you are not part of their household) can do to deal with the problem. It seems ironic that just as expenses are probably rising, their ability to cover those expenses is threatened.

It is possible that the person with cancer has some kind of insurance that covers this situation. They can dig it out and check the terms and conditions. Some policies cover illness, and others will pay out early if the person is not expected to live. You have to be practical if your finances are threatened, even if you don’t like facing up to unpleasant facts.

Some help may be available from outside agencies. You could have a list of these in your Plan. Contact them to see if help is available in your situation. The person with cancer may be able to claim some welfare benefits to help out. This is often a long process, so don’t leave it until a financial crisis is upon you.

Some also choose to tap into equity they have built up in their home to tide them over this time. This could be done: through an equity release scheme; by moving to a cheaper property; or by using a ‘Sell and Rent Back’ company.

Be sure to check out the companies you deal with. Compare the end results carefully, and take financial advice if you need it in order to understand the full implications.

Worry about finances weighs heavily upon the thoughts of the person who has cancer, and is a realistic ever-present worry for their family. You can best help by undertaking a thoughtful analysis of family finances, determining what assets can be used, what outside assistance is available, and what adjustments can be made to handle these burdensome obligations. Remember, you can only do so much with the resources that are available. This is a time for practicality, not guilt. Do the best that you can, and no more.

How Nutrition and Supplementation can Help on Your Journey with Another’s Cancer

Anne Orchard — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:51:53 +0000

How is your nutrition affected when your loved one has cancer? Firstly, you may find that your routine is changed. Extra demands on your time may affect your ability to eat regular nutritious meals. Coupled to that, it may be that you sometimes simply don’t feel like eating. This is related to the stress that you feel from the situation.

When your body is under stress it may require more nutrients as certain key vitamins and minerals are used up more rapidly. In addition the body becomes less able to absorb nutrients as increased adrenaline in the body (the fight-or-flight response) is designed to divert blood away from the digestive system in readiness for action. Thus nutrients can become depleted when you are under stress for any length of time. Results from this lowered nutrition can include:

Lowered immune system resulting in a tendency to ‘go down with’ minor ailments, poor skin etc.
Less energy and poor focus / concentration
Feeling down / depressed and less able to cope.

For this reason your ability to offer strength and support to those around you can be lessened at a time when this may be very important to you. It may even cause difficulty keeping up with your work and consequently your ability to earn may become threatened.

In addition to all of the above, there is the issue of your general well being. You deserve to feel well. This is not any less true because someone you care about is unwell. You will not help anyone by becoming ill yourself.

So what can you do to ensure that your levels of nutrition are sufficient at this time of your life? The advice is the same as it is for everyone who is in a time of challenge. First is to ensure that as far as possible you stick to a balanced diet and wherever possible eat wholesome, natural food that is processed as little as possible. Include a plentiful amount of fresh fruit and vegetables, with smaller amounts of carbohydrate and protein.

If it is difficult to keep up with cooking healthy meals for yourself at certain times, consider whether there is someone who would be prepared to help. A homemade casserole that someone has frozen for you to eat at your own convenience may be better for you than grabbing a take-away on the run.

If you do not already include them, this may be a good time to add some supportive supplements. We live in a chemical age and since the 1950’s thousands of chemicals have been introduced into our environment. These come in the form of industrial pollution, vast amounts of plastics which all produce residues into our environment and diet, pesticides, herbicides. Add to that a generally more indoor lifestyle with central heating, cars, computers and so on. This produces a chemical attack on our bodies in the form of free radicals which are can damage the body at a cellular level, causing anything from general tiredness and lethargy to cancerous changes in the cells.

The body is able to defend itself against such chemical attack, but it requires sufficient nutrients in the form of vitamins, minerals and flavenoids which act both as anti-oxidants the neutralise the free radicals and as critical components of the immune system. Getting sufficient vitamins and minerals to support the body can be difficult from a normal diet especially where time, money and appetite / ability to absorb nutrients may be an issue.

This is where supplements can play a key role in health. Certain foods naturally contain high levels of nutrients (so called “super-foods”); these are more readily absorbed than synthetic supplements and can be seen as a way of increasing the amounts of certain key nutrients in a healthy way to help support your system. I personally take an inner leaf Aloe Vera drink, which is like a vegetable juice but contains a high concentration of over 75 different nutrients, and a Bee Pollen supplement (pollen harvested from flowers by bees and then collected from the hives) which contains a high level of B vitamins, amino acids and minerals. I get these from Forever Living Products and would highly recommend them as my general level of health has improved greatly since taking these products, and I feel full of energy.

In addition to using supplements, skin care can be important. For carers, there is often much hand-washing, which can tend to dry the skin causing discomfort. There is also a great benefit to a regular skin-care regime. Quite apart from the anti-aging properties, simply taking a few minutes a day to do something for yourself gives you the message that you are worth it – and so contributes to maintaining your positive self-image.

Of course all these factors are equally important to the person who has cancer, and contrary to some myths, many nutritional products (especially super foods) can be safely taken during times of treatment provided the properties of the supplements are understood. There are certain supplements that would be of particular benefit to someone undergoing cancer treatment.

But what about the expense? Aren’t nutritional supplements an additional cost that you can’t afford at this time? Well, the answer is maybe, but it also may be that nutritional support will ensure you are able to continue to work and maintain your earnings in the face of a stressful time of your life. In this case, the extra expenditure would be a small price to pay. You will have to look at your own finances and determine the priorities for your spending. I have found that the health benefits from taking aloe vera and bee pollen supplements and using skin care products have been well worth the cost and in fact I’ve been so impressed that I’ve joined Forever Living Products in order to make these products available to you should you want them.

If you would like more information about how nutritional products can be of benefit to you or your loved one, please contact me by sending an email to anne@familiesfacingcancer.org. Technical questions can be answered as we have a panel of advisors.