» Families Facing Cancer – Helping carers to cope with cancer

Cancer Can Be Scary, but You Can Manage Your Fears

Anne Orchard — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 09:48:09 +0000

Tell Your Fears, “ENOUGH! I Will Not Tolerate Your Torment”

Dealing with the cancer of a family member frequently brings up feelings of fear. Acknowledging your fears can empower you to befriend and manage them. If your fears remain buried, they will control you. The following exercise will help you to let your fears go. If you are feeling confident, you can probably do this on your own; otherwise you may want to consult with a professional coach or therapist for assistance.

1. List everything you are fearful about in relation to your loved one’s cancer and its effect on you and your family. For example, loss of income, cancer relapse….include large, medium and small fears.

2. Prioritize the list from most to least powerful fears. Working though the following steps could take an hour or many months. Go at your own pace.

Complete steps 3 through 5 for just one fear at a time.

3. Beginning with your most powerful fear, ask yourself why it makes you fearful. What would happen if it came to be? Then ask yourself why you are afraid of this happening. For each answer to the question, “why?” ask “why?” again. This will get to the root of the fear. For instance, if I am afraid of losing income because I think other people will no longer respect me, then I will ask myself, “Why would it be scary to lose their respect”, and so on until you can think of no more reasons for your fear.

4. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen if this fear materialized.” Let yourself experience how it would feel. Let out all of your feelings about such an occurrence. Give yourself time to fully experience the worst case scenario, until there is nothing else to feel. Then take a deep breath and fully relax your entire body. Allow your emotions to be lifted from you. You are letting go of an all powerful, overwhelming need to try to prevent this fear from becoming reality.

5. Now, see yourself handling the fear without falling apart. For instance, if I am afraid of losing my home, I can check into emergency housing loans; if I am afraid of getting a new job, I can read some materials on-line to help me plan a job hunt, and so on. Say to yourself, “If that happened, I could move on from there. My entire life would not be ruined.”

This step alone may take days or weeks to complete. Your intention to manage each fear will be within your subconscious mind. The subconscious goes to work on anything you ask of it—this is your storehouse of creativity, inner resources for handling any problem. The process may be slow or fast, depending on how carefully you heed the messages of your inner resources.
The secret reward in this exercise is that once you have released the fear, you are no longer attracting it to yourself. This is the “Law of Attraction” at work. What you focus on comes into your life. An intense need to keep something away from you will actually draw it to you. Releasing the fear of an event, you are no longer attracting it into your life.
I had a client who was afraid he would not be able to get out of debt; he worried about it all day—even while sleeping. Even though he had some good ideas for increasing his income, he was frozen by fear—unable to accomplish anything. One day he told me, “I just suddenly went limp and said to my self, who cares if I go deeply in debt. I don’t care anymore! I refuse to worry about it! If it happens, so be it.” And right after that, he began to implement each of his ideas, one by one. Within 2 months, he was half way out of debt, and firmly committed to earning all the money he needed.
In the process of this exercise of releasing your fears, you will begin to attract into your life the resources you need to deal with your own or a family member’s cancer. With fear out of the way, you will have space for the future—a future in which you can handle any circumstances that come your way— good, bad or indifferent.

Dealing With Your Own Sadness and Cancer Emotions

Anne Orchard — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 09:49:36 +0000

Caring for a loved one with cancer can bring many challenges: both physical and emotional. One issue that you may find difficult is dealing with your own sadness and fear during this time.

You’re likely to feel overwhelmed, frightened, sad and angry when dealing with a cancer diagnosis. And, to make matters worse, you may feel restricted from expressing these feelings out of worry for how your feelings and your expression of them will affect the person with cancer. However, in order for you to remain productive (not to mention sane), you must find appropriate ways of expressing and dealing with your own feelings.

It’s natural to want to make the feelings and fears of the person with cancer take center stage. It’s part of your role as the support person. However, your own feelings and fears are just as important. In fact, imagine how you would feel if you had cancer and your closest loved ones never expressed any fear or sadness about the diagnosis.

In most cases, you should be able to simply act naturally around your loved one. It’s completely natural to cry during those first days, and particularly right after the diagnosis. And, it’s ok to do so in front of the cancer patient. In fact, your expression of emotion may help them feel comfortable expressing their emotions, too. Most of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ five stages of grief. While most of us think of this model related to the dealing with the death of a loved one, the same stages can come with facing any life event that causes grief. The five stages are:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

You will likely feel each of these emotions as you move through the process. The key, however, is to keep moving, since there are treatment options to be determined and functional challenges to be met. If you begin to feel an overwhelming sadness or fear that immobilizes you or won’t allow you to think of anything else, you may be having trouble moving forward.

Once the shock of the initial diagnosis is over, it’s important that the person with cancer and caregivers begin to process the diagnosis and move forward. Of course, there will be bumps in the road along the way for many months, but moving forward in treatment and in processing the options is key to living with the disease.

If you find that you can’t move forward in making decisions – or even getting on with regular life – it’s time to ask for help. Find someone other than the person with cancer to vent to – if you can lay out all your feelings in a “no holds barred” fashion, you may find some peace. You may have to vent your feelings more than once, but you should feel some sense of relief and vindication each time.

If you see no progress by talking to a friend, it might be wise to find a support group. Talking with others who are also sad about cancer may help you to process your grief and feel less isolated in your emotions. There are many support groups aimed at loved ones and care givers of cancer patients. There may even be one designed for loved ones of those with the particular type of cancer you’re facing.

This may also be a time to research the disease itself. Many times some of our fear comes from not knowing what to expect. And, while reading the details of how the disease and treatments work may not be pleasant, you might take comfort in being more educated about what you’ll be facing.

There is no short cut to dealing with the news that your loved one has cancer. And, there is no prescription for how one should deal with such a life altering event. However, as the days and weeks go by, we should be able to see ourselves moving forward and making progress, both in our emotions and our actions. If this is not happening, it’s time for help.

With Cancer or Not, Death is a Natural Part of Life

Anne Orchard — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 10:18:56 +0000

Everyone recognizes that death is a natural part of life, but most people do not dwell upon it When cancer is diagnosed, however, everyone involved begins to think of death, if only fleetingly. Terminal cancer of course makes these thoughts more than fleeting. Dealing with this overriding concern of imminent death is discussed in my book Their Cancer – Your Journey:
Is it timely to think about death if your loved one has only just been diagnosed. Surely it’s far too negative to mention death at this point? It’s unlikely (unless you have received a very late diagnosis) that the medical team has raised the prospect of death. However there is a big ‘But’ to consider. Many advances have been made in the field of cancer treatment; but it is still something that people die from. In fact, as our ability to treat other conditions improves, it becomes ever more common that cancer is what will finally take us out of this world.
This means that whenever the word cancer is mentioned, the thought of the chance of death comes swiftly after. You will probably be trying to suppress it. You have almost certainly heard of the benefits of positive thinking, and want to apply it. The trouble is that the little voice in your head that says “What if they die?” is not easy to silence. The more you push it down, and refuse to listen to it, the stronger it is likely to become. I’m not telling you it’s a good idea to dwell on the likelihood of your loved one’s death. I’m just saying you need to acknowledge that thought.
The truth is that death is certain for all of us. It’s a natural part of life. You can think of it as being like the passing of the seasons. Our birth and death are as woven into the fabric of nature as the growth and falling of leaves on the trees each year. Cancer is by no means an inevitable death sentence, but we all have to go eventually. Who can say how long we are supposed to be here?
If your loved one’s cancer does lead to death (either now or in many years’ time), there is no point in resisting this. Yes, you will do everything in your power to support them and their health, but if that proves to be to no avail, so be it.
Children have a very practical attitude to death. They feel the grief and sadness as deeply as we do, they just don’t let it linger. They understand instinctively that life goes on. Once their grief has been expressed and noticed by others, they are likely to switch rapidly to getting on with the business of their lives, such as playing with their friends. They have a natural approach.
Society’s attitude has a great influence on our perception of death. Only a hundred years ago, most families would have experienced death first hand. Children died in infancy, mothers died in childbirth. In my husband’s family, his great grandfather was given the same name as another baby who died only a year before. This would be unthinkable now, but I think it shows how naturally death was treated then – because it was more common.
These days we have removed death from the family and into hospitals. The result is that it has become surrounded by an air of mystery. It also seems that death is almost always regarded with horror – instead of as a natural stage which we would all welcome at some point in our lives.
So do not fear death. Or if you are feeling fear, notice what is at the root of the fear. Are you afraid of being lonely, or of a lack of support? Would you desperately miss spending time with a person who brings joy into your life? Be honest with yourself, face up to your fears, and you will do much to still that little voice. This will then allow you to give more concentration to what you can do now to help.
As Deepak Chopra said in The Book of Secrets “Only by facing death can you develop a real passion for being alive.”
Most people have learned to accept the inevitability of death at an uncertain time in the distant future. The possibility of someone dying from cancer in the near future, however, is not so easily accepted. It’s comforting to be optimistic and hope for the best outcome, but it is also a positive step to recognize and accept the possibility, and to prepare for it.

Dealing with Anger

Anne Orchard — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 09:38:50 +0000

Anger can erupt for many reasons. News of a debilitating illness like cancer can certainly bring about rage, particularly when the disease strikes someone who is in the prime of life. As a loved one and supporter of someone with cancer, we can feel anger on behalf of that person, but we just as often feel anger of our own. We feel robbed of time together, and we may even feel angry about the amount of time and effort we’ll be putting into the care and support of our loved one. Some of our anger may surprise us, and may overwhelm us, as well.

Dealing with anger effectively is a skill that many people never master. But, it is critical that you learn to deal with and let go of your anger so that you can focus on the cancer journey productively.

Anger is one of the most damaging of all emotions. We hear and read a lot about road rage, but anger can occur in many other situations. Feeling fury can be terrifying. You are convinced that the anger will consume you, and there will be nothing else left. When you are tired, stressed and worried, anger often arises more easily.
A long wait to pay at the shop can send you spiraling into a fury far beyond what is reasonable. I’m sure you’ve seen someone yelling at an assistant over some seemingly insignificant problem. Their anger is probably not much to do with the current issue; it’s more likely related to what kind of day they’ve had, or what kind of person they are.
Feeling anger is one level of problem, but the more important issue is what we do with it. Those shop assistants do not deserve the fury that’s being aimed at them, but they are on the receiving end of it. If you vent your anger at someone, you can’t take back the things you said – and that is dangerous. When you are angry, you can damage your relationships with those around you.
All these things mean that we are scared of feeling anger. We’re not good at dealing with it, as we have not been taught how to. Instead we tend to suppress those angry feelings, because this seems safer than allowing ourselves to feel that way. In fact what you are doing by suppressing anger is choosing to hang on to it. You may have heard the expression “What you resist, persists”, and so it is with those feelings of fury.
Of course I’m not recommending that you let it out and shout at people in shops, but there are many safer ways of expressing feelings – or even just dropping them. You can learn many ways in the book Their Cancer – Your Journey, or try one of the Calming Techniques listed in this article.
As you can see, feelings of anger must be dealt with. Suppression is unhealthy, but unleashing can be dangerous, particularly if your anger is directed at an undeserving bystander. It’s critical to work through your emotions in a healthy way, so that you can put anger to rest and focus positively on the future.

Calming Techniques for Families Facing Cancer

Anne Orchard — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 13:58:35 +0000

Allowing for your own needs helps the person with cancer as much as it helps you.

When a family member faces cancer, your whole family is facing it with him or her. If you have not yet acknowledged that caring for yourself at this time is just as important as attending to the person who has cancer, calming is a good way to begin allowing for your needs. A serene demeanor can be of great comfort to you, your family, and the person who is ill. You are probably holding an immense amount of physical tension in your body. You need to find ways to release it so that you don’t suffer ill effects.
Calming techniques vary widely, but all serve the same purpose. You could read the book Calm For Life by Paul Wilson. It will help you to find a practical technique that particularly suits you. If you need something more direct and personal, you could join a meditation group or use a meditation CD. Yoga is also very beneficial, or there may be specific relaxation classes local to you.
Another technique is the Sedona Method: It is absolutely one of the best methods of dealing directly with your own emotions that I have ever come across. You don’t need to believe anything in particular. You don’t have to have a therapist to help you. You can do it with your eyes open, your clothes on, and even in a crowded room. It is so easy that everyone can learn it, but you could practise it for a lifetime.
Lester Levenson developed this simple and easy method for his own use. It is now taught by Hale Dwoskin (who you may have seen in the film The Secret), and Sedona Training Associates. The Sedona Method is based on the principle that as children we naturally let go of emotions and let them pass through us. I was once told that the definition of emotion was energy in motion. But we have learned to hold on to our feelings, stop the movement, and that is what keeps us stuck. The Sedona Method is a series of questions that helps you remember how to let go of emotions in order to uncover the underlying peace you have at your core. You can find out more about the Sedona Method at www.sedona.com.
It is also calming to sit or walk in a garden or park. Many people have shrunk their problems to a manageable size whilst tramping out on a long hike. A walk or hike is a good time to reflect on which of these calming techniques you plan to try. After learning these techniques, the next step is remembering to use them! I was good at using relaxation techniques and visualisation when I was giving birth and had nothing else to do, but when my kids are pushing my buttons my relaxation techniques are the last thing on my mind. It may help to set aside a specific time each day for some calming time for you. Make it an appointment with yourself. The more you practise the techniques you have chosen in your own time, the easier it will come to hand when you most need it.
Remember, it is essential that each family member care for themselves as well as the person who has cancer—If you are tense and negative, you will not be of much comfort to anyone. Your more serene self will be an excellent role model, and you may even share your calming techniques, although that is not the central purpose—it is about you taking care of you.

Further Resources

Mindfulness Meditation
Download a free mindfulness meditation (approx 10 minutes) to play on your computer

The Sedona Method website

Communicating about Cancer

Anne Orchard — Thu, 27 May 2010 10:13:43 +0000

Talking About Cancer

Even for those who have a history of open communication with their loved ones, the emotional and physical demands of their cancer treatment can elevate that communication to a level that may be uncomfortable for both of you. My book Their Cancer – Your Journey, discusses the adjustments required for cancer communication to be effective at this deeper personal level:
The way you communicated in the past with the person who has cancer depends on your relationship, on your respective personalities, and on the habits you have created over the years before their illness. It will be unusual if this is a relationship where you are used to talking about life, the universe and everything – simply because there aren’t that many relationships like that around. If your relationship with your loved one is like this then congratulate yourself. It will allow much easier communication.
You may find that now you have something a little more important than a trip to the supermarket to discuss with this person, it feels a little scary. The reason for this is that you’re not used to it.
In my family as I was growing up, we talked about what we had done at school or what career we might like to go into. We had disagreements about emotive subjects such as abortion, but I don’t remember talking about my hopes, dreams and fears with my family. We just didn’t go into those topics.
What do you do if your loved one seems to shut you out – if they refuse to talk about the cancer at all? This can be really hard to cope with. It could just be the way they are coping with their situation, but that doesn’t help you. You can turn to others for support, but in the end what you want is to open up the channels of communication with your loved one. It would be unrealistic to expect that you will break down those barriers in one fell swoop – and yet it is possible. The fear that comes with a diagnosis of cancer is strong enough to smash inhibitions to rubble, if you are both brave enough to admit to that fear. This may need huge courage on your part. It always seems easier to suppress the fear than talk about it, but many people report great relief from those barrier-smashing conversations.
Sometimes the resistance comes from the fact that you are used to seeing this person as strong and in charge. This may often be the case when a parent is ill, for instance. But imagine what can be gained from having your loved one share their deepest feelings with you. You may never have felt such a deep connection. I had one conversation with my mother in which she admitted her wish to die sooner rather than later. I didn’t handle it well – I came out with some cliché about how it would happen when the time was right. Mum was furious; as far as she was concerned the time was right now, and she was fed up with waiting to be reunited with her beloved father. Well, I may not have said the right thing, but I was glad she got to express her feelings. After that talk, at least I knew how she really felt. It certainly cleared the air!
These are the conversations where you can practice your listening skills; unfortunately I hadn’t learned them at this time!
From your side, what you are trying to communicate is that you love, support, respect and trust them. Even if they’re not ready to talk to you, you can make sure they know this by your actions.
If you still feel more need to express yourself, why not write your loved one a letter. Tell them how much you care about them. Express your hopes and fears in writing, and they may be able to cope with this more easily.
Extracted from Their Cancer – Your Journey ©2008 Anne Orchard

Your loved one is the same person you knew before the diagnosis of cancer, but their focus is now different, more self-directed. Personality traits may remain the same. For some, however, the traits that you appreciated in the past may be suppressed. Negative traits may be amplified. If you sense a change, it’s not personal. Your role will be the understanding listener, the comforter, the advisor, the loving friend. Cancer and communication are not mutually exclusive, and the gains are worth the extra effort you may have to make.

Non-Attachment – Zen and Cancer

Anne Orchard — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 10:22:03 +0000

When someone you care about has cancer emotional issues may make it hard for you to carry on in your everyday life. A Zen approach to cancer anxiety may help you to be able to function.

Although you are dealing with the cancer of a family member in the present, for a brief time you may decide to journey in your mind to another time. Recall an occasion in your life when you moved on from something, even if it took a very long time. You were no longer attached—this is non-attachment (or detachment), a principle of Zen philosophy. Notice how eventually you blossomed from the change, although at first you fought it. Whether cancer brings a change due to your loved one’s demise or an adjustment while they are undergoing treatment, one big challenge is learning non-attachment to that which is beyond your control. You may be detaching from a lifestyle that increases the risk of cancer to yourself, or to others through your example. You may want to let go of the role of a victim or a savior, or even a way of life. Your inner self or Higher Self will replace that which you detach from with an opportunity to find a new path in life.
You may feel the need to hang on to what you have or had, believing it is the best that will ever be. While reconsidering this belief, imagine yourself having something different, which makes you happy. Honor past memories, but without grasping onto them. Imagine the future holds greater fulfillment, in a different way, even though you might not see why right now. Make the decision to trust your instinctive drive to manifest the greater good for yourself and others.
Ask your Higher Self to assist you in detaching from anything that you have acknowledged is not for your greater good. Is there anything that seems to be leaving your life, even though you aren’t sure you want it to? Take a deep breath, close your eyes and mentally give this thing or person permission to leave you. Hanging on can repel something you want; once you release something, it will either come back to you or something better will take its place.
You can learn to cope with change calmly and peacefully, by trusting that the universe is your friend. Have you ever heard someone say about another person, “She hates the world”? They are referring to a miserable person. On the other hand, with the world as your friend, you have a trusted force for change. You may describe it as the collective unconscious, God, or anything in which you place your faith. If another voice within fights the change, God or your trusted force will bring the change which is most beneficial to you, with our without a conscious decision on your part.
The essence of non-attachment will materialize when you are pondering something in your life that seems to be contrary to your highest good:
Non-attachment comes without calling ahead, but you don’t mind, for it’s a joy to see him and gaze into his warm, familiar eyes. His visits are reliable, yet elusive. When he is on the road, there is no way to reach him, so you savor this time with him. He has a voice as clear as an azure sky on a crisp October day. You listen attentively as he shares his wisdom with you.
You may tap into non-attachment by re-reading the italicized words above; then close your eyes, imagine something which is no longer serving your greater good, and finally imagine the state of non-attachment. At this time, you may want to detach from the belief that your own happiness is not important while another suffers. This is a harsh trip to lay upon yourself. Would you demand another to feel continual guilt and sorrow? Can you treat yourself as kindly as you treat another?

Family Cancer Issues – Acknowledgement of a Stressful Time

Anne Orchard — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:04:44 +0000

Stress and Cancer go hand in hand. You may not be the one that is ill, but your feelings and needs are just as important. Face cancer with your family, by dealing with your own stress.

When someone in your family has cancer, how you feel can seem to pale into insignificance. Everything becomes about the person who is ill. If you were a machine, then you would feel totally neutral about the situation. None of us is built that way, though. We feel deeply, especially when something bad happens to those we care about. I’m glad humans are this way. I wouldn’t like to live in a world where nobody had regard for anyone else and how they were feeling.
Being made of flesh and blood (plus an active mind and a vivid imagination) brings its challenges, though. That imagination is where our feelings of stress come from. From fear and worry about the future. When you are dealing with what is happening in the present moment, there is no room for stress. You simply get on and cope with whatever is put before you.

Cancer Impact

Perhaps this is the first time someone close to you has had cancer, as it was for me when my mother was ill. In this case you may know little of what to expect, and this will almost certainly produce fears of the unknown.
On the other hand, you might have been in a similar situation before, in which case all the emotions you felt then will probably be re-triggered. The challenges you faced in the past become hurdles you expect to have to get over again, even though all cancers and all people are different and so the hurdles will be different too.
Either way, most of the stress you feel is to do with what you fear will happen tomorrow or after many tomorrows. This doesn’t make the stress any less real for you right now. There are ways to deal with that stress. The first is simply to notice how much of it is to do with what’s happening right now, and how much of it relates to what may or may not happen in the future. Mark Twain famously said “I’ve had thousands of problems in my life – most of which never actually happened.”

You can start your thinking about your loved one’s cancer by letting go of as many of those future issues as you can. This will give you some emotional respite, which will allow you then to cope better with the road ahead. To get a handle on your emotions, answer the following:

How are you feeling about your loved one’s illness?
What do you know about the situation?
What do you want to know?
What are your biggest worries or fears?

This process will allow the reality to sink in a little. It takes time to adjust to a change as big as this, but you can adjust – probably better than you could possibly imagine now. I often hear people say such things as “I just don’t know how he/she coped with that situation.” In fact when you have no choice, you can cope with the most extreme realities. Whatever the cancer impact on your family, acknowledging and dealing with your own stress can go a long way to reduce that impact.

This is an extract taken from ‘Their Cancer – Your Journey’ by Anne Orchard. To purchase a copy of this book visit Their Cancer – Your Journey Book Information

More information on Managing the Stress Associated with Cancer
More information on Emotional Issues
More information useful at Diagnosis

What Place do Humour and Pleasure Have in a Family with Cancer?

Anne Orchard — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 08:40:06 +0000

When cancer has befallen a member of your family, it is wise to keep in mind, “What I Focus On Expands”, and so it is with our attitude to life. A light-hearted, positive attitude in a family with cancer (even amongst the sadness you are feeling) will bring good things into your life. A dear friend once gave me a card with the saying “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly”. What a lovely thought.
Although dealing with a ‘serious’ time in your life, you can do so without getting too heavy about it. This is a healthy way to view cancer in the family. Just because something challenging is happening in your life; that is no reason to stop having fun. Quite the opposite, in fact. You need intense doses of fun and pleasant activities, to offset any negative feelings about your loved one’s cancer.
Cathy Goodman, whose recuperation from breast cancer was featured in The Secret, had a three part healing process: belief that she was healed and seeing that as true; gratitude for that healing; and the power of laughter to heal. Cathy and her husband watched videos of funny movies for months. They avoided any kind of bad news, or anything that could cause her stress. Within three months her cancer was gone, with no other treatment. If laughter has the power to heal physically, it certainly can heal emotionally too. It can keep the positive energy going. That’s why we’ve included a humour on our forum at www.familiesfacingcancer.org – so you can share what makes you laugh!

Release through humour

Humour is a wonderful way to defuse tension, and let go of emotions. Many people who have cancer develop a black sense of humour, and this allows them to deal with really tough times and emotions.
My friend Annette Shaw once supported her neighbour through cancer treatment. She described her experiences, writing in The Times. Trying to encourage her friend, Annette thought of telling her about the visualisation techniques where you see your white blood cells as soldiers attacking the cancer ‘invaders’. “Think of it as Custer’s Last Stand”, she concluded triumphantly. “Nette”, said her friend, “he lost!” The look of horror on Annette’s face provoked gales of laughter from her friend. The ice was broken, and humour kept them both going through many dark hours.
You too can find things to laugh about – even in the face of hardship. There is definitely a funny side to the indignities of cancer. Obviously I’m not inviting you to laugh at your loved one, but if they can find humour then respond. They may be longing for someone to be light-hearted around them. It’s hard to hold on to anger, fear and even despair if you are laughing.

Emotional Freedom Technique

Anne Orchard — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 18:14:56 +0000

ENERGY PSYCHOLOGY

What Is Energy Psychology?
Energy Psychology (EP) is the name for a broad range of psychological treatments that utilize the human energy system.
Since all emotions arise from disturbances in the body’s subtle energy system, Energy Psychology Techniques can be used to alleviate a whole range of problems including; Stress, anxiety, depression, addiction, phobias, rejection, anger, guilt as well as many every day physical ailments such as aches and pains, sore throats, IBS, muscle tension, headaches, food reactions and allergies.

Emotional Freedom Techniques
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), used by thousands of therapists, doctors, and lay people worldwide, has emerged as the most widely used of this class of therapies. Gary Craig a Stanford-trained engineer developed EFT in the 1990s. After studying the existing methods, especially Thought Field Therapy, or TFT, he set out to find the simplest possible form for utilizing these methods. The result was a technique that did not require a therapist (though experienced therapists are useful in complex cases) and can be self-applied.

Based on the ancient principles of acupuncture, EFT is a simple tapping procedure that gently realigns the body’s energy system, without the discomfort of needles. Unlike other energy healing methods, EFT incorporates an emotional element to the healing process, addressing unresolved emotional issues as a likely cause of physical disease and stress.
The discovery behind this relief is that unresolved emotional issues are caused by disruptions in the body’s “subtle energies”. These disruptions inhibit our natural ability to heal, leaving us open to nagging fears, chronic pain and terminal illness.

EFT consists of a simple routine. It starts with an affirmation: “Even though I have (this problem), I deeply and completely accept myself,” While saying this, the participant taps a specific acupressure point with the tips of their fingers. The participant with their fingertips then taps seven other acupressure meridian end points five or more times. The whole procedure takes about forty seconds. Although it does not require a clinical setting, and can be self-administered, sophisticated uses for EFT do require training. The basics, however, are easily learned by anyone and can be applied to an impressive list of issues.
Negative emotional experiences disrupt the energy meridians that run through our body. The physical changes we feel from those disruptions, like nausea or anxiety, become attached to the memory of that experience and affect the way we see the world…until we heal that disruption. Properly applied, EFT quickly realigns the energy meridians with respect to negative memories, disconnects the physical discomfort that we attached to it, and quite often remove the resulting symptoms.
Because the events we experience in our lives happen to us on a physiological level…they literally bypass our conscious mind.

This is how the brain processes any kind of stimulus:

There is an event – that event can be a thought we have or something that happens to us
These events are stored within our bodies at a cellular level
This is then experienced as an emotion
These emotions lock into the cells
We either fully process the emotion or not
If we don’t fully process the emotion, the cells remains filled up with that emotion
Over time, the cell receptor sites shrink up and die
We then spend our time trying to deal with the event on a psychological level rather than the physiological level that it happened on.

Stress reduction and stress elimination is at the heart of the work done with EFT. We suffer limitations in our health, overall well-being and zest for life in direct proportion to the degree that stress has accumulated in our energetic systems.
EFT as a therapeutic tool serves people with all kinds of stress reduction needs.

Regardless of what brings a person to EFT, learning to balance life’s seemingly endless demands with their available energy is a task where we all could use some assistance. Regular environmental stress reduction is an important aspect of our self-care.
It is not unusual for people to accept stress-related symptoms as a normal and common part of life until, that is, they reach a point of overwhelm and their mental and/or physical health is impacted. It is vital that we learn to recognize the early signals of too much stress and deal with them as soon as possible.

In Gary Craig’s words, `A dedicated twelve-year-old can achieve a 50% success ratio, even with problems that often stump doctors and conventional psychotherapists. Truly skilled practitioners often achieve 90%.” EFT includes a self-assessment system that the subject can use before and then again, after the session, to determine whether or not the problem has been cleared with that session, or whether further work is required.

EFT is easy to learn, simple to use and results are immediate and permanent. The best part is that you don’t have to believe it will work for results to happen.

For more information on EFT including courses and workshops go to www.theenergyclinic.co.uk or contact:
Stephen Coburn BEM
EFT Practitioner and Teacher
Tel: 01202 674636

» Families Facing Cancer – Helping carers to cope with cancer

Cancer Can Be Scary, but You Can Manage Your Fears

Tell Your Fears, “ENOUGH! I Will Not Tolerate Your Torment”

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Dealing With Your Own Sadness and Cancer Emotions

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With Cancer or Not, Death is a Natural Part of Life

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Dealing with Anger

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Calming Techniques for Families Facing Cancer

Allowing for your own needs helps the person with cancer as much as it helps you.

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Further Resources

Communicating about Cancer

Talking About Cancer

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Non-Attachment – Zen and Cancer

When someone you care about has cancer emotional issues may make it hard for you to carry on in your everyday life. A Zen approach to cancer anxiety may help you to be able to function.

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Family Cancer Issues – Acknowledgement of a Stressful Time

Stress and Cancer go hand in hand. You may not be the one that is ill, but your feelings and needs are just as important. Face cancer with your family, by dealing with your own stress.

Cancer Impact

What Place do Humour and Pleasure Have in a Family with Cancer?

Emotional Freedom Technique